This “Yi Jian Mei”（“一剪梅”） is one of Li Qingzhao’s（李清照） early works. She wrote this short poem in order to memorize his husband Zhao Mingcheng（赵明诚）, who was newly married with her but then left her to a remote place for a longish period. She expressed her missing and sincere love for her husband and revealed the pain of the lovesickness. Her emotion was so sincere, deep and passionate.

The following is the analysis and the comparison of the texts sentence by sentence.

ST 1: 红藕香残玉簟秋。
TT1: Fragrant pink lotus fade; autumn chills mat of jade.
TT2: This autumn, red lilies are fading fast. The season for a mat in bed has passed.

In the second translation, “红藕”(lotus) was translated into red lilies. But the lotus is usually white, and there are usually few red lilies. Using the special case to describe the universal phenomenon is not appropriate.

ST2: 轻解罗裳，独上兰舟。
TT1: My silk robe doffed, I float, alone in orchid boat.
TT2: I unloose my skirt; alone, I take a boat.

The first translation includes two lines consisting of ten words and each line consists of six syllables and end-rhymed. This translation seems succinct at first, but one can find the problem when giving it a second thought. The silk skirt was Li’s skirt, but the first translator translated it as a silk robe. Then did it mean that she unloosed the robe and took the boat only in the underwear? This was almost impossible to her, a graceful and educated lady from a rich family. The translator applied the literal translation technique. Though the translation is as succinct as the original but does not clearly transfer the original meaning.

ST3: 云中谁寄锦书来？雁字回时，月满西楼。
TT1: Who would, out of the clouds, drop me a line, unless it be that absent spouse of mine? When swans come back in flight, My bower’s steeped in moonlight.
TT2: Who would, out of the clouds, drop me a line, unless it be that absent spouse of mine? When they fly back in flocks, as they would soon, over the west chamber will be the full moon.

The original sentences are the author’s imagination. She imagined that her husband should have written to her. The first sentence is a question and the second the answer.

The last sentence of the second translation is in the inverted order. The original is succinct, while the translation is loquacious. The sentence“Unless it be that absent spouse of mine? When they fly back in flocks, as they would soon” has no relation with the original. The translation can change the original appropriately in order to recur the artistic style of the original, but the change must observe some standard or rules and should not be translated randomly.

There is only a word difference between the two translations. The first applied the technique of word-for-word translation to“equalize” the original and have rhymed words at the end of the last two lines. The original is elegant, so is this translation.

ST4: 花自飘零水自流。
TT1：As fallen flowers drift and water runs their way.
TT2：Flower petals drift like winds, as it blows. Without effort on man’s part, water flows.

The second translation does not follow the law of nature. In autumn, the flowers will fall down by themselves, even if it is not windy.

The first translator combined the two lines into an adverbial clause to make the translation as concise as the original. He also applied the technique of alliteration to have “fallen”, “flower”, “water” and “way”. This in a way reflects the syllabic rhyme of the two characters“自”in the original.

ST5: 一种相思, 两处闲愁。
TT1: One longing overflows. Two places with same woes.
TT2: Love-bond is one, as between mates and friends. Two such likes apart, they pine at both ends.

The original sentence means that the wife and the husband missed each other very much, but what they could do was only feeling sorrow at parting.

The first translation not only expresses the original intention appropriately, but also succinctly. The original uses eight Chinese characters, the translation uses eight English words also. In the original the “一” (one) and “两” (two) are well-matched, and so do “one” and “two” in the translation.

But the second translation is not only tedious but also has faulty wording: love-bond is a kind of feeling that just exists between husband and wife or lovers, so the emotion between friends only can be friendship, and if they yearn for each other, they are in fact lover. Moreover, there is no need to add“Two such likes apart” before “they pine at both ends”.

ST6: 此情无计可消除，才下眉头，却上心头。
TT1：Such sorrow can by no means be driven away. From eyebrows kept apart, again it gnaws my heart.
TT2：One can’t obstruct this mutual flow of souls. A lull-love re-shuttles between the poles.

The original expresses the feeling of the poet directly, and the readers can get an direct perception from it, while the second translation does not clearly expressed the poet’s feeling but makes readers confused. The images in the original like“眉头” （eyebrows）and“心头” (heart) are all gone.

In Case One the researcher is trying to compare and contrast sentence by sentence two English translations of “Yi Jian Mei”.

A major problem is that such a comparative analysis seems not to have been guided by any principles of poem translation. For example, when he comments on the translation of “红藕” into red lilies, the researcher argues that it is not appropriate to use the special case to describe the universal phenomenon. Can this be backed up by any theories concerning the translation of words in poems? Or how can the researcher be certain that the poet were not looking at some red lilies, even though there are usually very few of them. So he should have the relevant theories previously explained in Rationale to support the analysis of the data. This can also enhance the coherence between Rationale and Data Analysis—integration of theory with practice.

Another problem is that the researcher does not specify the focus of the analysis or the perspective from which he is to make the comparison. Consequently the points of comparison turn out to change randomly from treatment of individual words, adjustment of word order, transfer of rhyme, etc. This happens not only when the researcher is moving from one source sentence to another but also when he is dealing with one sentence. For instance, when studying the second translation of ST3, he initially points out that the last sentence of the second translation is in the inverted order. Then he goes on to state that “Unless it be that absent spouse of mine? When they fly back in flocks, as they would soon” has no relation with the original. Therefore we have a quite vague idea what he is concentrating on in this comparison. To solve the problem, the researcher is advised to make clear at the outset from what angles he is to analyze the data. He is then expected to process the whole data from one angle before he moves on to the next. In Case One, if the researcher decides to compare the two translations regarding the choice of words, he may analyze all the translations of the six source sentences in this respect, and then switch to the adjustment of word order and analyze all the data in that respect. Only through a systematic process of the data can any possible general patterns be generated which in turn provide references for future translation practice.

Still another problem is that following ST1 and ST2 the researcher studies only one translation, which fails to meet the requirement of the research topic “A Comparative Study Between Two English Translations of ‘Yi Jian Mei’”.